25th Nov, 2024

morning.

btw just noticed. just a month from christmas now. its kindda different 

afternoon, 

ok dont worry about that part in the start it was just me trying to start the blog early up in the morning but somehow that it would be a distraction to write a blog early up in the morning. so it's now14:17 IST and i am now sitting down just prior to my lunch to write a little down.

so i have been reading Kafka. well well just the basic basics of it , if that made any sense. i like the idea that it potrays. but it's highly bad for me. considering i have something called the overthinking problem.

well i guess writing about all these is only gonna make me more and more think about his ideas.
he somehow says in a story of him and a young girl (a story i knew way prior but didn't knew it was Kafka) that if you love something its bound to go someday or the other.

well, i think i should just head back to lunch. additionally i have turned into a very rude person i guess. actually no. i am a good person i just get a little rude at times. 

why do i do that ?
maybe i am worried about something deep in my heart !! well i guess yeah. a lot of things. a few very important, a few good enough but not that enough important to just worry about it the whole time.

btw what's the ultimate point of reading these depressing philosophies??
i don't want to read something and start overthinking about it all of a sudden. although i am doing exactly the same thing right now. 

anyways 14:26 IST now, i should head back to lunch.
will be back

its 16:03 IST,
done with what i was supposed to do for the day. i dont really like how the day is going , this is very boring, i didn't want my life to turn out this way. 
uhhh , koi na i dont like this . i guess i am really pissed off as of now. life feels boring . yk what people around me do think that my life is preetty sorted. 

i hope they never have to deal with this ever. i wish my father was home today i couldve gone out a little to my mom's home. 

this feels awkardly bad. not having anything. moreover actually having no interest in anything. that's the worst part of it all. huhh . nevermind this happens. 

maybe i am facing a burn out again. but on a mondayyy ????? i wish it were somewhere around the weekend. 
nevermind bye for now,
before i start hating on myself for not being productive.

what do i do next ? still no idea. 
bye 
Arka (16:07 IST)

came back a little, 
its 16:10 IST , 
maybe just to write these only 2 lines. 
i am worrying too much about things. why ?? no idea. 
i am overthinking. i will get better. 

i feel a pain in my head, why is it ? no idea. idk .
i just hate it , maybe that's all i can say. 
bye 

arka again...(16:12 IST)

22:13 IST 

endin as of now, i dont wanna write more for today .
PUBLISHHHH ..